


Phoenix

by renealew



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Red Robin who??, Tim is happy for once, i only know Phoenix, the others are not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 09:02:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renealew/pseuds/renealew
Summary: To say Tim was fed up with the Bats would be an understatement. Ra’s noticed the small flinches and tensed muscles almost immediately, and oh, what a wonderful feeling it left him when the young detective came to him in need of a new name. A new costume.A new hero.What a great thing it would be, to see the Batman’s reaction to his lost bird.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 93





	1. The Beginning of Something

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh okay okay, I spent quite awhile staring at this because I didn’t know if I wanted to publish it or not?? But I said fuck it and here you go! My take on what might have happened if Tim decided to become his own hero.

It had taken awhile for the detective to finally see. But _oh, _when he did see it. When he realized just how _lost _he was, he made the best decision. Ra’s couldn’t help the grin creeping onto his face as he entered his trashed throne room. Blood stained the floor, and the heavily breathing vigilante standing in the middle was almost smiling. The detective was dressed in the finest silk greens, with a lovely carved bo staff clutched in his hands. His hair fluttered messily around him, and Ra’s could not muster up enough disdain to point it out.

”Good morning to you too, Timothy. I see you have taken care of the ninja guarding you.”

“They weren’t even that good,” Tim grumbled as he turned to face Ra’s, “I’ve fought better.”

Ra’s clicked his tongue, and hummed as he stepped over one of the ninja. Barely breathing, he noted. That one would probably perish without any medical help. Disappointing. He’d have to tell Talia to train her fleet better. 

“I am pleased to see that you are still here, detective, despite the many chances you had to escape. I assume you are here to make a deal with me.”

Timothy scrunches up his face, then shakes his head. It’s almost...adorable.

”Not a deal. A pact, of sorts. I helped you take down the Council of Spiders, and now I need your help. And before you say anything, I’ve thought this through. So many times. All I need now, is something only you can give me.”

Ra’s grins. This is what he’d been waiting for, ever since he first met the detective.

”I need you,” Timothy says slowly, “to make the Bats pay. And I need to be the reason they all fall to their knees.”

Ra’s takes the male by his hand, and leads him to the doors. No attempt to get away is made, but rather the man walks by his side. The detective allows Ra’s to lead him down long halls and twisting staircases, through the courtyard and into a smaller, cut off part of the empire. Timothy’s hand slips out of his own as he walks into the room, eyes soft as he takes in all the fabrics, metals and stencils littered throughout the room. Ra’s lets him explore the area and fiddle with the tools before handing the boy a sketchbook and the best pencils for design. Timothy takes them, and glances up at the demon in question.

”Create who you are meant to be, detective. You are a person brimming with glorious ideas, and the people you chose to work with never really listened, did they? But here, Timothy, everything you say will be considered and put into action. Everything you design will be created. Everyone you wish to be forgotten, will be forgotten. You were always held back by those Bats, but now, you will show them how much greater you are. Create something for yourself, and once you are done, we will have a new version of you. A stronger, more independent, version of you.”

This is the Beginning of Something. Isn’t it?

Bruce read the note religiously. Eight words long, thirty-five letters in total. It was burned into his brain, that note. He thinks he screamed when he first read it. He can’t remember. 

Everyone is grounded from patrol. Everyone is being roomed at the Manor, where Bruce can keep count on all of them. The mood at the manor is dark. Regretful. Nobody has spoken. Everyone is locked in their room, either alone, or with one other person. 

Dick and Damian are together, in Damian’s room. He checks in on them, sometimes. Damian always answers the door. Dick can be heard crying.

Jason is usually in the kitchen, with Alfred. Bruce will walk in, hug them both, and walk out. He knows Jason is conflicted about everything. He is too.

Duke can’t be found. Bruce looks everyday for the boy, but to no avail. He wonders when Duke got so good at keeping to the shadows.

Steph and Cass are always in his room. Tim’s room. Stephanie could be heard screaming all throughout the manor, with the sound of glass shattering. The next day, she was sobbing. Her hands had to be wrapped eight times because she wouldn’t stop trying to pick up the broken glass from the shatter picture frames. Bruce can’t help but wonder if this is how Tim reacted when Stephanie died. He can’t picture Tim throwing his beloved camera across a room, but then again, he can’t picture Tim ever dying.

Barbara visits when she can. She’ll sit by Dick and Damian for hours before heading down to the kitchen to help Jason and Alfred in the kitchen. She avoids Stephanie and Cassandra. Stephanie screamed at her and didn’t stop, even when Barbara left. She had to be sedated. 

Bruce wanders. In that room, check on that child, out. In this room, check on this child, out. He did this when Jason died, too. And for the first time, Bruce wonders how Tim ever dealt with him. It must’ve been difficult, for a twelve year old child to keep a grown man in check.

It was the beginning of something, before it was all torn from his hands. Before Tim, his daring Red Robin, was torn from his hands. Bruce doesn’t think he’ll ever grow accustomed to the man that his boy has grown into. 

_Phoenix._ Tim had whispered cruelly to him, handing him the Red Robin suit while staring at him with emerald green eyes. Tim’s new suit was pitch black, with beautiful reds and oranges flowing up and down his back, flittering with every movement. His domino mask was the shape of the fire bird, and Bruce’s face must’ve looked terrified, because Tim grinned. _My name is Phoenix. I am the robin that was born from the ashes of a burned hope that you set fire to. And I am here to make your life a living hell._


	2. Everyone Blames Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian wonders and wanders. It’s not the healthiest thing, but whatever works, right?

Damian had...realized. A few things. After Drake had flaunted through the cave with a laugh and big, glowing bottle green eyes, Damian had realized a few things.

The very first thing he realized was that Drake had, in some way, gotten on good terms with his grandfather. Even after being kicked out a window, and tortured, and killed, Drake still flashed his eyes proudly. That made Damian uncomfortable. The way Drake looked, acted, laughed, and _fought_ were obvious signs that he had chosen his path, and his path included Ra's. Damian had instantly recognize the red and orange materials on the Phoenix suit, how could he not? His mother once wore a blood red and orange dress with the same fabric. That was a dig at him, he was sure. Drake wanted Damian to know, to _see, _that he had been replaced. And Drake delivered the punch oh so well.

The next thing he realized, is that his father, the best detective out there, had never seen this coming. Bruce had realized, yes, that Drake hadn’t appeared in the Gotham streets for awhile, but he had assumed Drake was off with the Titans. It wouldn’t be until two weeks later, when Bart contacted him, asking him if Drake was ill, as he hadn’t responded to any of their messages. Damian had seen the blood rush out of his fathers face, could practically feel the fear that gripped at his father’s heart as he demanded every Gotham vigilante to forget what they were doing and get to the cave. Once everyone was there, piercing laughter had echoed all around them, and Drake made his big entrance. Bruce had never seen it coming, and that, above all things, terrified Damian the most. It meant that Drake, the Phoenix, was unpredictable. And Batman can’t stop an smart, unpredictable man.

The last thing Damian realized, was that everyone blamed themselves. He had overheard Pennyworth on the phone with one of Drake’s colleges, Tamara. Pennyworth said something about Tim understanding that where he was was unhealthy for him, and that he could almost agree with the boy’s decision. Damian had left after that, had gone back into his room and hugged Dick as tightly as he could. Dick hadn’t responded, so Damian moved his arms for him, so he could pretend that this was just another day with Dick wrapped around him. He rested his head on Dick’s chest, and listened to the sobs as they shook Dick’s body. Jason was cooking. Every second of every day. A distraction, he guessed, though he didn’t think it was working. He had once walked into the kitchen for a glass of water, and had quickly left once he saw Jason flipping through a photo album with Stephanie and Cassandra pressed against his sides, listening as he explained the story behind each picture with a cracked voice. Damian hasn’t seen Duke. He doesn’t really want to. He cried, for the first time since the whole ordeal, when he heard Stephanie’s screams and Cassandra’s quiet pleas for her to stop.

He’s not supposed to be on patrol, but he’s just getting away. He needs to breathe. He’ll only be out for an hour, he promised his father. He’s just going out to circle warehouses and such. 

He’s actually out to see if he can spot Gotham’s newest bird. Damian knows Tim, knows he’ll be out pouncing on goons. He knows that when Tim sees him, he’ll investigate. So he sits on a roof top, huddled by a generator, and he waits. He doesn’t really know how long he’s out there, but one moment he blinked, and the next, there was a warm hand patting him lightly on the face. 

“Hey, Dami. You supposed to be out here? I thought the Bats were taking a break.” 

Damian blinks slowly. Processes. Decides on the best decision, and launches himself at Selina. 

The cat huffs out a surprised breath, but wraps Damian in a tight hug. She had caught word of what had happened, from Oracle. She had cried, had mourned for her bird. She felt useless when Bruce stopped answering her calls, but now, if she can comfort someone, she’s content. She slowly stands with the child still held securely in her arms, and pretends to not notice the tears making their way down the baby bat’s face. She’s looking for a safe way off the building when a small cooing noise has her ripping around with her whip ready. 

“Jesus, chill. I wasn’t going to stab you.” Tim - _Phoenix, her brain supplies _\- laughs lightly at the shocked look on her face. Damian tenses in her grip, but makes no move to jump out of it. He must be exhausted.

”Aww, the bird looks so tired. If I had known, I would’ve put him right to sleep instead of waiting for you to show up.”

Selina launches herself off the building, and apologizes to the child for the bumpy ride they’re about to have. Damian just nods, and buries himself in Selina’s shoulder.

He’s back in Dick’s arms, and the older man is trembling. Jason sits next to them. It’s only the three of them. Damian smothers himself in Dick’s chest, and grips Jason’s hand as the arguing in the foyer grows louder. If he focused, he’d be able to know exactly what Selina and Bruce were fighting about, but Damian knew. His one hour patrol had turned into a five hour patrol, and Bruce hadn’t noticed. Selina slapped him for it, right after she had handed a drowsy Damian to a shocked Jason. It’s how he got here. It’s why he’s wrapped in the arms of his brothers, listening to his parents argue about his safety.

He wonders what Tim felt like, in his last moments. They still haven’t found out how he died, but they know it was at the hands of Ra’s. They know it was painful. He wonders if Tim had believed that someone was going to save him, until he woke up screaming in a green pool.

“I should’ve fucking known, I should’ve been there.” Dick whispers. And Damian can’t tell if he’s talking about the five hour patrol, or Tim. 

“You can’t toss all of the blame on yourself, big wing,” Jason speaks softly, “Bruce is the one who didn’t tell us anything.”

Damian still can’t tell if they’re talking about him or Tim. He wonders if Dick is talking about him, and Jason is taking about Tim.

”I played a part in it, didn’t I? I should’ve been paying attention.”

”We all played a part in it, Dick. We all should have noticed.”

Damian closes his eyes, and wishes his head would stop wondering. He doesn’t like the answers he’s getting. He mumbles something about using the bathroom, and gets up.

Everyone Blames Everyone, Right?

Damian screams at the note that’s been written with red marker on his mirror. He screams because he knows who put it there, and he screams because he knows they’re right.


	3. Nobody Notices Until You Want Them To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duke’s been out.
> 
> A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lord christ, it’s been so long and I’m sorry, but school got the best of me. But hey! Christmas break is here, so have an early Christmas present.
> 
> I’ll give you the receipt, too. Just in case, lmao.

Duke’s been patrolling. Fighting. Coming home (home? Is he allowed to call the Wayne Manor his home?) in the early hours of the morning, and stumbling into the attic to _scream _without anyone noticing.

It’s routine now. The attic is a wine cellar, rarely ever opened anymore, and it’s soundproof. He doesn’t know if the others (_siblings?) _are looking for him, or if they’ve even noticed. He does know that Dick is far too concerned with Damian right now, especially after what happened two nights ago.

Two nights ago, Duke’s routine changed. He doesn’t know if it’s for the better or worse. He accepts it without complaint, anyway.

He approached the bird after Catwoman had swung away with Damian, watched as Tim (_Phoenix) _turned around and cooed at him. It was silent on the rooftop. Duke had a hundred and one questions, but his mouth felt dry and his hands were shaky. He didn’t (_couldn’t, you coward) _say anything to Phoenix, just observed as he was circled twice and as Phoenix closed in on him with a small grin. 

“What’s the matter, Signal? Does the rebirth of a destroyed Robin scare you? Hun, you should’ve seen Jason when he came back. Poor thing was so controlled by his mind that he nearly lost it.”

Duke flinches back, but the movement makes him dizzy and he falls to his knees in front of Tim. Blood is rushing in his ears and his breathing is so _loud, _and some vague part of him goes _oh. _This is the result of days without food or water. There’s movement around him, but he doesn’t focus on it, just tries to get his breathing under control and _calm down. _There’s a hand on his back, and it’s moving in a soothing manner, and someone is humming. It works, that method, and Duke is able to see and hear clearly.

”You back with me, Duke?” Signal scrambles up and away from Tim, whose kneeling where Duke had fallen with a small frown on his face. The frown curls upward into a sickening soft smile that sends shivers up Duke’s spine because he _knows _that smile. Had gotten it from Bruce when Alfred was shifting his broken leg back into place, had gotten it from Cassandra when he confessed his insecurities to her, had gotten it from Kate of all people when he was stabbed and kept on fighting.

He knew that smile, because it meant he was walking down a path he’d never be able to come back from.

”You’re like me, Duke. You work yourself too hard and no one notices, and then you suffer from all the hard work, and still no one notices. It’s a never ending thing, Duke. You have to break it to become better.” Phoenix says as he makes him way to the edge of the building, hips swaying in a confident manner that Duke wishes he had.

”I-I won’t become someone like you, I’ll find a way to break out without hurting anyone around me. I’ll do what you can’t, Tim. I’ll prove to you that there are better ways of getting help.” 

“Okay, Signal,” Tim laughs mockingly, “go ahead and tell Daddy that you’re suffering and don’t know what to do. Face it, Batman can’t help his own goddamn family. He’s probably going to blink at you before shoving Alfred your way so he doesn’t have to deal with you. He can’t help you, Signal, so find you own way to rise up. Follow in my footsteps, in the footsteps that Jason should’ve followed, you’ll find a real family who doesn’t make empty promises.” 

Duke doesn’t have a chance to respond before Phoenix is jumping off the ledge and into the shadows. He doesn’t know what he’d even say to that, so instead he takes a breath, and goes back to the Manor.

He doesn’t go to the attic after tossing his uniform in his locker. He walks up the stairs, past the clock, past the kitchen where Jason blinks in surprise at seeing him before hardening again, until he reaches the person he’s looking for. Bruce is seated in a plush chair, staring at the stained glass window that illuminates the office room in deep reds and yellows. Duke has a hundred and one questions that can all be answered with one reply. He approaches Bruce, watches as Bruce notices him and smiles lightly.

”Duke.” Bruce whispers. “My Signal, where have you been?”

”Bruce, I don’t understand. I’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you noticed?”

A confused frown blooms on Bruce’s face, and Duke tenses. This is it. This is the end or the beginning.

”I haven’t noticed, Duke. My son’s been taken recently, and I haven’t been....coping well. His name was Tim, and he was so smart, Duke. So smart and so brave. And he’s gone, been taken by some bastard.” There’s a pause as Bruce examines Duke’s face. He must look put off, because Bruce huffs a not-quite-there laugh. “I’ll find him, I’ll bring him home. Don’t worry.”

Duke breath hitches, and he trips slightly as he bolts out of the room, a small slip of paper fluttering to the group as he takes off. Tim had been right. _Tim had been right._

Nobody Notices Until You Want Them To

Bruce hadn’t noticed until Duke had stepped out of the shadows. Bruce hadn’t noticed Duke. 

Duke’s routine had changed two nights ago. He doesn’t go back to the manor anymore. He doesn’t think he could see himself there without seeing himself following in the footsteps of Timothy Drake.


	4. Scream Silently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Stephanie are opposites. Maybe that is why they seem to click, like puzzle pieces. Maybe that is why they oppose each other, like oil and water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been awhile. And I have no excuse. I’m sorry.
> 
> But! Make sure you all stay safe with this pandemic spreading! Take care of yourselves.

Cassandra _watches._ And she reads. She senses and she feels.

Everyone has a terrible sense of sorrow and guilt surrounding them that Cass nearly gags anytime she walks through the manor. It’s _everywhere. _There was not a room in the manor that had not been touched and filled with the dreadful feelings of despair. She almost leaves. Almost walks out of the place like Duke did, just to be free of the stifling feelings that are pouring off of her family.

But.

But Stephanie. Stephanie, who screams and yells her feelings instead of letting Cass read her, who has never scared Cass until that horrid day, who is still falling down the hole of pain that Cass doesn’t know how to help anymore. Stephanie, who keeps Cass anchored to the manor.

Cass remembers the day her brother walked into the cave, with a confidence she had never seen before in him. She had seen the reds and blacks that hugged his body with a proudness that Damian once had. And she had choked on the _fear _that had filled the cave when her family had realized what had happened to their Red Robin. She was frozen by it, by the suddenness of it, and now it was all she could see. Fear. Written across every person’s face who walked into the manor.

She remembers holding Stephanie. That’s all she could do, at that time. She held Stephanie down as the girl tried to attack every family member after Tim left _(Bruce with a black eye, Jason with a stitched shoulder, Damian and Dick with identical scratches across their foreheads, and Duke-), _and she held Stephanie down after she had taken all the framed pictures of Tim and smashed them against a wall, and she held Stephanie down as Alfred wrapped her hands again and again and again. She whispered pleas for her panicked and tortured friend to calm down and stop _(“-stop, Steph, you hurt. Stop.” “How the fuck can I, Cass? How can I after he’s gone-). _

Now she just holds Stephanie in her arms. Tightly, rocking slowly, whispering small reassurances and encouragements. Sometimes they walk to the kitchen, to talk to Jason, when Alfred is out. Cass thinks it’s good that Jason knows a lot about Tim, thinks it was good that Jason talked about Tim with a gleam in his eyes and a crack in his voice. Steph was hurt to learn that Tim had gotten on good terms with Jason, but did not retaliate, and rather fell into Jason’s open arms to listen about the crazy trips Tim and he went on. She would respond with a story of her own, and Jason would listen and follow along. Cass wonders why Stephanie and Jason never hang out more, but then she makes eye-contact with Steph and she feels the _click _as Steph softly smiles at her. And she is reminded again why she does not leave the manor; Stephanie ties her down, and Cass would rather die than let that anchor go. She fears what she might become if she lets go of Stephanie. She fears what will happen when she hangs on. 

Stephanie is the reason Cass ignores the weight of the small note that is in her room. _Silent, _it reads, and silent Cass might forever be without Stephanie.

-000-

Stephanie _acts. _She will scream her feelings even if she is alone. She will scream when she isn’t alone.

Stephanie Brown, in a one-word description, is loud. 

_Tim rolls away from her, laughing so hard he might start crying. She smiles, so brightly, and loudly declares “I love you.” Tim smiles back at her, softly but surely, and responds “I love you, too. No matter how loud you are or how bad you are at cooking bread.” She laughs, not caring about the open window that carries her laughter into the night, because this is all she needs._

_She’s never seen Tim this mad before, and she almost doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to fight him, she loves him too much for that, but he just keeps glaring at her like they had never once dreamed of a happy ending together. “Faking your death to see how much it took me to break? Really Steph? I can see Bruce doing something like that, but I can’t believe you agreed to it. I thought...I thought I meant something to you.” Anger and anguish exploded in Stephanie’s chest as Tim spoke, and she could feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she yells “I did it to help you! I didn’t want to hurt you, you idiot. You matter so much to me I can’t even explain it!” Tears are pouring down her face, but Tim shakes his head and....and walks away. He doesn’t look back._

_She’s laughing to the point of wheezing, and Cassandra is smiling softly at her, amused at the badly animated Superman show they had been watching. She tries to speak through her laughter, but only succeeds in laughing harder. A familiar pain sets in her chest as she’s taken back to a time when she and Tim used to do this, and her laughter is quick to stop. Cass tilts her head and widens her eyes, and all Steph can do to answer the unasked question is to shrug and curl up in warm blankets and resume watching the show. Cass doesn’t question it further, but can’t help to appreciate where she is when Steph snorts and begins to laugh loudly at the horrid comedy._

Stephanie Brown is silent when she spots her Tim waltz through the cave, mocking every stock-still hero he passes with a smile and a laugh of glee. She nearly cries when his eyes land on her, because his smile falters, and his laughter is cut off. She sees Jason wince and cover Damian’s ears for the screaming match that he believes is about to happen, but all Steph can do is open her mouth and whisper.

”It’s not my fault. I swear, I promise, Tim. It’s not my fault.” He smiles kindly, and for a moment she believes he could come back to them, to her. And then he quietly chuckles, his hand raising to cover his mouth as if he had not just been laughing so loudly.

”That’s so sweet, Stephanie,” he finally speaks, “What a pity it’d be if I believed you, right? I mean, really. Distress call after distress call sent to you, and you text me a week later to see if I’m okay? Yeah, that really doesn’t make a big impact at _all.” _Tim laughs sarcastically, and throws Steph one of the worst glares she’s ever gotten from him before. Her knees buckle at the reminder of all the distress calls she had overlooked because she simply thought Tim could handle it, and she falls to the ground. Tim moves on without looking at her, and she can hear his laughter ringing in her ears as she cries quietly.

The fight after Tim leaves with Ra’s Al Ghul hanging off his arm is when Steph’s voice comes back. She kicked and punched and screamed her pains and tears at the only people left in the cave. She won’t apologize for it....though maybe, she thinks later, maybe that’s why Tim isn’t hers anymore. Maybe that’s why she isn’t his. The thought only fuels her anger, and she takes every picture off of Tim’s walls and throws them against the dressers and windows in the room. She stops after seeing Damian’s horrified face, and falls into Tim’s bed and sobs herself to sleep.

When she wakes up, he sight of the glass filled room wrecks her. She screams, and picks up every piece of glass that adorns Tim’s floor, ignoring the blood pooling in her hands until Cass picks her up off the ground and takes her to Alfred and Jason. They wrap her hands as she shakes. And it happens again. And again. Eight times, her hands had to be wrapped until all the glass was gone and the pictures were taped back on the wall. Alfred’s hands are quivering as he rewraps her own.

”I don’t think he’s okay, I think Ra’s is controlling him, somehow. Tim always hated the thought of joining Ra’s. We could...we could try to save him.” She whispers. The man sighs, and nods. Jason snorts.

”Don’t let Dick hear you say that,” Jason says bitterly, “he thinks the kid deliberately joined the Al Ghuls, just to peeve us or some utter shit like that.”

”He can’t actually...fuck, Jason, really?” Steph blanches at that. “As if Tim would do that. Everyone and their cat knows that Ra’s had an interest in Tim, it was only a matter of time until he...did something about it.”

The kitchen falls quiet. Cass helps Steph back up to Tim’s room, and Steph is curled up in Cass’s grip as they lie in the bed. She sighs, and tightens her hold on Cass before looking up at the girl with a soft smile. She speaks and ignores the note tucked into the back pocket of her sweats. _Scream, _it said, and Steph might scream for the rest of her life if it weren’t for Cass.

”I don’t know what I’d do without you, Cass.”

_”I don’t know what I’d do without you, Tim.”_

_”You’d be okay, Steph. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”_

Cass tightens her grips. “I don’t know what I’d become without you, Stephanie.”


	5. Listen to the Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason’s sure he can bring Tim back. He’s absolutely positive that Tim will listen and understand.
> 
> ...Jason listened when Tim brought him back into the family, so that must mean Tim will listen, too. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
I have no excuse. Enjoy!

Jason watched Damian cry silently as Dick aggressively wiped the red marker off his mirror. He watched Duke storm out of the Manor, watched as Steph screamed her anguish, watched as Cass silently tried to help. Jason watched as Bruce became aloof, eyes glazed as he shuffled around the house. 

He listened to Alfred’s stories about how Tim brought Bruce back from the darkness that seemed to swallow him after Jason’s death. He looked through Tim’s photo albums, with Stephanie on his left and Cass on his right. He argued with Dick about Tim’s situation, who seemed all but convinced that Tim had left on purpose. He held Damian close, soft reassuring words on the tip of his tongue whenever the boy woke up screaming from another nightmare, or whenever Dick fell emotionless and could barely move. He had searched the manor for Duke, only understanding where the kid had been after he left. Jason didn’t know what to do with Bruce. He feels far too guilty to seek the man out himself.

Every moment spent consoling and being consoled only served to ignite the fire of determination spreading in Jason’s chest. He knows what it’s like being under the Lazarus’s loud control. He understands too well that the waves seem to block out every emotion other than anger, and he knows how hard it is to resist the constant sound. He also knows for a fact that Tim is smarter than him, can fight mentally better than Jason ever could. Jason knows he can help.

That’s why Jason is here. Slipping on armor, checking his guns for rubber bullet before slipping them into the holsters. He skips the hood, and instead slips on a red domino. He wants Tim to see his face, to see his emotions. A blank face is just a way to fall further into the murky insanity of the waters, he knows. He knows far, far too well. 

He pauses his movements at the sound of footsteps behind him, but simply hums and turns around when he recognizes the concerned sigh that leaves Dick’s mouth. He’s got Damian balanced on his hip, finally looking like the 10 year old that he really is. The kid is blinking blearily at Jason, wobbling on the line between alertness and sleep, but with Dick slowly rocking from side to side, sleep seems to be winning.

“You don’t have to go alone, Jay,” Dick whispers, “Cass and Steph would gladly go with you.” 

“Not this time. I’m the only one who knows how to deal with the pit’s control. I want to...understand where he’s at with all this. Tim’s so strong, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s half way to sanity already.” Jason’s chuckle echoes around the cave, and Dick gives him a weak smile as he readjusts his grip on Damian. 

“Just...stay safe, okay? I don’t know what I’d do if-“

”I promise.” Jason interrupts. “Nothing will even touch me out there. I’m just going to talk to Tim.”

Dick nods, and ducks his head to rub his cheek on Damian’s, but Jason catches the hint of a frown on his face. He resists the urge to sigh again, and instead makes his way towards one of the bikes, waving a goodbye to the duo. They just had an argument this morning about whether or not Tim joined the League willingly, and Jason doesn’t want a repeat, especially with Damian finally asleep. The poor kid’s been getting less and less sleep everyday. He revs the engine of the bike, throws a glance over to Dick and Damian, and speeds out of the cave with the feeling of Dick’s cold eyes following him. 

He hopes Tim is easy to find.

* * *

Tim was too easy to find. The damn kid was twirling around on top of an apartment building, laughing joyously when Jason landed across from him. They had just stared at each other for an awkward amount of time before Jason cleared his throat and began speaking.

”Fuck you.” Damn it. Can’t have a normal conversation, can you?

Tim blinks, smile melting into a confused frown. Jason puts his hands up in a “hold-on” motion, and takes a deep breath before starting over.

”I’m sorry, that wasn’t supposed to leave my mouth at all. Just..god, Tim. The whole family is in pieces after you left-“

”I was gone for two months before the Titans contacted Bruce, but okay.”

”-and we...what?” Jason felt the blood drain from his face, a deep frown pulling at his lips. That wasn’t right. There was no way that they hadn’t noticed. Tim smiled bitterly at the dawning realization on Jason’s face.

”God, no. Tim..._fuck,_ Tim. Why didn’t you contact anyone? Your suit was gone, you could’ve sent out a signal or some shit like that. We could’ve helped you!”

”Jason. I sent three signals, two code reds, and one emergency code. Each one had my location. Guess what I got? Zero fucking responses! Not even one!” Tim points his bo staff at Jason, as if accusing him of his crimes. “I became what I am now because the only person who lifted me out of the Lazarus Pit was fucking Ra’s.”

Jason kneels, hands still up. He knows the power Tim has with a staff, and can only imagine how painful it would be with the pit leading his movements. He needs to look small, to seem defenseless. He needs Tim to listen.

”Okay.” He begins softly. The grip on the staff quivers before tightening again. “Okay. We messed up. We fucked up so much that I wouldn’t be surprised if you never came back to us. I understand, babybird. I completely understand what’s rushing through that smart mind of yours. But, Timmy, please listen. You can’t stay with the League. You know how they operate, you know that Ra’s is twisting his words and will end up hurting you, even if he swore not to.” Jason swallows, and gathers himself as he looks Tim straight on. “The Titans began looking for you after three weeks. They tried to contact me, but I-“ Jason chokes on his words, regrets every moment that brought him here.   
“I didn’t believe them. I told them you disappear, that’s it’s just what you do. You have to believe me, Tim, that if I had known, I would’ve put a bullet between that devil’s head with no hesitation.”

The silence is fucking heavy. Jason wants to drag Tim back to the manor, make him sit through hugs and tears and promises so that he knows. So that he knows that they’ve made the worst mistake anyone could ever make. That it breaks their hearts everyday to see him with flashing green eyes instead of ice blue. The agony grows deeper with each breath that Jason gives as he waits for Tim to respond.

The kid sighs slowly, and retracts the bo staff. He looks up, as if asking for help, then looks back down at Jason with absolute disdain.

”I lied,” he finally breathes out, “I didn’t send any signals out. I didn’t want anyone to find me” Jason’s heart stops, a coldness spreads through his chest.“I loved it there, Jay. They treated me so well, they listened to my plans and explanations, they trained me better, they even let me train them. I felt...so good. I was healthier than I had even in a long time.” Tim laughs sweetly as he stands, and pulls out the bo staff again. ”I died in my sleep, with Ra’s by side, and I woke up _better_, with him still there. He never left me.”

Tim walks forward, bo staff still aimed at Jason, his grin growing slowly. Jason can’t move, his body is frozen at Tim’s revelation, even with his mind tearing him apart to get up and get out. The cold metal of the staff brushes against Jason’s throat, and suddenly he can’t breathe, even with the little pressure. Everything is too loud, too close, too quiet and too far away. Everything is...

”Jason, why did you stop listening to the waves? They’re so _lovely._”

Green. Everything is green and _he can’t breathe._ Jason feels the heat of tears behind his eyes as he presses the emergency signal Dick gave him. He can hear Tim talking, can’t tell where it’s coming from, but it’s distant. The taunting chant of words seems to put more pressure on his chest and he can’t breathe and he’s dying again at the hands of the one he swore he would never touch again. His face is wet and the tears won’t stop and he can’t focus because he doesn’t want to fall back. He doesn’t want to go back to the loud waves crashing and shrieking. He _hated _it there, he never wants to go back. It’s too loud, and Tim’s voice...no, not Tim’s, who is that? Jason feels a scream building in his chest and he knows he won’t even be able to hear himself because it’s so-

Silent.

Jason breathes. In and out. Slow. He’s still kneeling. There’s a pressure surrounding him, holding him down, shushing him softly. He leans into it, knows this pressure is safe.

”Good, Jay. Follow my breathing, you’re safe now. You’re here with me now.” Jason twists so he can wrap his arms around Dick and bury his face in the older boy’s shoulder like he’s twelve all over again. Dick hums, and begins rocking, and yeah, Jason can see why this made Damian fall asleep so fast. He’s still shuddering, but his tears have slowed to a stop and he can breathe without feeling the heavy pressure on his chest. Dick tightens his grip and holds on to Jason for a few more seconds before pulling away. Jason blinks up at the man, and new tears spring up. Dick wipes them away easily as he helps Jason back onto his feet.

”Dickie...Dick, why’d you have to be right? Why’d you have be right about him?” He whispers brokenly as Dick pushes him up into the BatPlane. Dick simply shushes him again, and pets his hair for a few moments before helping him settle down in a chair. 

Jason shakily buckles himself in, and blinks at the sight of Dick crouching in front of him, looking up at him with eyes of worry. Jason smiles weakly, the best he can give. Dick hugs him again, whispering in his ear that Damian and Alfred made _tortillia española _for him back at the manor. Jason nods, and thanks him quietly. Dick smiles brightly as he walks over to the control center to set the plane on route back to the cave.

And if Jason doesn’t notice Dick ripping up the small paper with emerald green writing on it _(Listen To The_ Waves), well, then he doesn’t have to worry about it. And if he also doesn’t notice the additional, unconscious person in the very back of the plane, then that’s okay. Dick didn’t want Jason to notice right now. He has to keep his family safe, first and foremost.


End file.
